So you've created it. There's no turning back now, is there? It exists now, and there isn't a way to reverse it, or keep others from abusing it.
There's no point wasting your breath and placing blame. What's happened has happened, for whatever the reason was. Now you've got to learn to move past it. It may affect you for the rest of your life, but you can decide how it will do so.
[Bruce falls silent at that, not certain what to really say, or what to think of it. It's not the first time he's heard that - but hearing it from Anarya, who knows nothing about his past of the crimes he's done but still regards him like this... what can he say, really?]
It's not that easy. [Finally says after a while, and he scratches the back of his head in mild frustration.] I know what you're saying, but... I don't know.
[There's a pause at the question. In most other times Bruce would have an answer on hand, at least, but now--]
I don't know.
[He mutters an admission and sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. There's just too much now, so much, and he doesn't want to think about this. Bruce has always been good at running when he needs to, after all.]
[ That hurts a little to hear. She's known the feeling of wanting to run from her burdens before; it's not something she'd want to wish onto anyone else. ]
What you do with your life is up to you. However, death is also a burden in itself. There are people out there who would be gravely affected by it. I am certain that those people would not hesitate to help carry some of your weight if you chose to bear it.
[It sounds rude and demeaning, maybe, but it's the truth. The other guy isn't something people can get. They may know and they may understand, but it's never something they can carry. Only he alone has to hold the weight of this burden, the sin of this monster he's made.]
This isn't some problem when you can solve by talking it out. It's entirely different.
For all of the bad that you've caused, do something good. You may not be able to reverse whatever it is that you've created, and I'm sure you can't control what it does. But there's plenty more you can still do.
[Although really, he only knows that because there's no other option for him. He's tried giving up, but how can he give up when even death doesn't accept you?]
I'm trying - I've tried. I've tried so many times and I'm still trying but--
[He cuts himself off with another shake of his head, face scrunching up.]
[Bruce tenses just a little when there's contact - an instinctive reaction more than anything else. He closes his eyes and forces himself to take a deep breath, sucking it in and then letting it out, forcing himself to relax back after a few times and he slowly loosens back up.]
[Well, no, of course its not horrible - but Bruce is so used to be hated and feared and everything else that now having somebody who just accepts him is--unexpected.
Bruce has never handed the unexpected well.]
No. But you still don't have to feel obligated for it.
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nepleutpas2013-07-20 10:12 am
no subject
There's no point wasting your breath and placing blame. What's happened has happened, for whatever the reason was. Now you've got to learn to move past it. It may affect you for the rest of your life, but you can decide how it will do so.
Don't you think?
no subject
It's not that easy. [Finally says after a while, and he scratches the back of his head in mild frustration.] I know what you're saying, but... I don't know.
[So much has happened.]
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I see.
[ She sits back and falls silent for a moment. ]
Is not living at all better than living with this weight?
[ A question. Her tone held no indication of how she felt toward it. ]
no subject
I don't know.
[He mutters an admission and sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. There's just too much now, so much, and he doesn't want to think about this. Bruce has always been good at running when he needs to, after all.]
no subject
What you do with your life is up to you. However, death is also a burden in itself. There are people out there who would be gravely affected by it. I am certain that those people would not hesitate to help carry some of your weight if you chose to bear it.
no subject
[It sounds rude and demeaning, maybe, but it's the truth. The other guy isn't something people can get. They may know and they may understand, but it's never something they can carry. Only he alone has to hold the weight of this burden, the sin of this monster he's made.]
This isn't some problem when you can solve by talking it out. It's entirely different.
no subject
no subject
[Shaking his head again, only this time quite vehemently.]
I can't turn back.
I am sorry for my fail...
For all of the bad that you've caused, do something good. You may not be able to reverse whatever it is that you've created, and I'm sure you can't control what it does. But there's plenty more you can still do.
What is this fail you speak of...
[Although really, he only knows that because there's no other option for him. He's tried giving up, but how can he give up when even death doesn't accept you?]
I'm trying - I've tried. I've tried so many times and I'm still trying but--
[He cuts himself off with another shake of his head, face scrunching up.]
It just never seems to work out.
clearly not something I'm capable of
It looks as though you've made progress.
obviously
You don't need to be kind to me.
[He doesn't deserve it.]
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I know.
Would it be so horrible if I were anyway?
no subject
[Well, no, of course its not horrible - but Bruce is so used to be hated and feared and everything else that now having somebody who just accepts him is--unexpected.
Bruce has never handed the unexpected well.]
No. But you still don't have to feel obligated for it.
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I'm well aware. For the record, I don't.
Feel obligated, I mean.
[ She shrugs, and takes a glance around the room, finally resting her gaze out the window. ]
I can't be nasty to everyone. Someone's got to drink with me, right?
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I'm sure you'll find somebody else to drink with you eventually.
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Eventually, perhaps. But I'd like to keep the ones I have as well.
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